


Alternian Discord

by terminallyCosplay



Series: Homestuck Refrain [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Crying, Death, Friendship/Love, Graphic depictions of violence - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, Kismesis, Major character death - Freeform, Multi, Sadstuck, Tragedy, Violence, hella sadstuck, underweight
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-20
Updated: 2016-12-13
Packaged: 2018-01-25 21:21:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1662860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/terminallyCosplay/pseuds/terminallyCosplay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The sister series to Refrain, Discord takes place on "Skaia 2.0." After having the humans ripped away from them, some of the trolls are coping, some have moved on, and three years later, some of them are still trainwrecks trying to figure out how to never move on and never forget. </p><p>In this, it's best to be up-to-date on Refrain, as this is the mirror story. Refrain will update, then Discord.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Broken Promise

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger Warning for biting, suicidal thoughts, angry best friends, and fully grown trolls throwing tantrums.

****

** Karkat (1) **

 

“Karkat?”

Her tone sounded worried, like it always did, but it didn’t really dig in this time. She shook his shoulder, but he shrugged her off. He stared at the screen. He stared at the long, stretched out figure. Dave Strider looked like he was in the middle of another one of his nightmares. Karkat could tell, his hands had a way of twitching every time he had one. He felt something pressed into his hands. His name is Karkat Vantas, and he quit caring about himself and those around him a long time ago. There was now no need for leaders, so he had no purpose at all.

“Karkat Your Friends Are Worried And I Would Like To Point Out That You Are Not The Only One Who Has Lost Someone In This Catastrophe”

He glanced up at her, then stared back at his screen, cycling through to another human. This time, it was John, who was awake, slumped against the wall of his room, looking pathetic as fucking always. He growled a bit, as she went to shake him again.

“Just leave me alone, Maryam.”  

“Fine But When You Decide To Quit Being A Wriggler Over This You Should Probably Go And Talk To Sollux To See If He Fixed The Patch In The System”

“What’s the fucking point? He hasn’t been able to get off his ass and fix the damn thing yet. Face it, Kanaya, we aren’t going to be able to do much more than watch them destroy their shit selves. You aren’t going to be able to fix her or save her, you’re just going to watch her drink her damn life away or end up in an alcoholic coma.”

He felt the stinging as she slapped his face, saw the jade tears well up in her eyes and stain her white cheeks, but he didn’t give a shit. He turned back to the screen. She could go ask him herself. She sighed, gazing hungrily at his neck. He shrugged, then tilted his head, allowing her access to his veins and arteries. It was riddled with scarring now, as he was the only troll she was comfortable asking for blood, and he was the only one who didn’t care that he would pass out afterwards for most of the day. It was welcome, really, to give into the unconsciousness. When he passed out from blood loss, it didn’t upset him as much. He didn’t dream about them at all, and that was a blessing in itself. He knew he had some sort of human fetish, not caring about trolls anymore since meeting them.

“They Almost Have Hal Awake The Artificial Dirk Human Will Be Able To Communicate With Us Soon”

“He’s not the right Strider. I don’t care about him. Dave is the one- Dave is the one who promised that we would still be friends after we were all back together. Kanaya, they fucking promised, and they all lied-“

Her teeth cut into his neck and he whimpered, relaxing. He stared at the screen, watching as John slumped over.

“It’s that nook-whiffer’s birthday tomorrow. He’s going to turn 16 again. It’s been three years there for them. How long has it been here for us?”

She couldn’t answer, she was too busy drinking out of his neck. He felt himself sliding down into unconsciousness. It was a pleasant, welcome feeling. It was nice to just give into the nothing feeling. It hurt so much less being there than awake.

“Listen…Maryam, I know it’s wrong, okay? But I don’t care. I’m okay with wasting my life here, staring and watching them. I feel like sometimes, you and I are the only two who even care that they’re- OW.”

She had bit in further, and this time, it hurt like hell and burned before her saliva started to numb the pain. He hissed, and she hummed as a form of apology. She kept sucking him, and he felt himself lean back into her. He was slipping out of it for sure now, but he didn’t really care. He looked at the sandwich she had given him, but it was too weird trying to eat it right now. He couldn’t bring himself to really eat at all most days.

His vision was starting to go black as she finally let go of his neck. He slumped back, breathing lightly. She kissed his forehead, then switched the screen over to Rose. The two of them watched as he passed out for another day.

 

* * *

 

Waking back up didn’t come easily, and he was surprised to see who was sitting at the edge of his recuperacoon when he did. Sollux stared at him from behind mismatched glasses. Karkat blinked up at him, sitting up a bit. He felt pain rip through him, and his head started spinning instantly. He felt a firm hand on his shoulder, pushing him back down and in.

“Take it eathy. Kan took a lot more out of you than uthual tho you’ve been out for a while. Thought I’d let you know that Hal got online and even contacted one of your thtupid humanth for you.” He informed him.

“WHAT?”

He felt himself croak it out, and tried getting up, but he didn’t have the strength to do it.

“Look, KK, you’ve done a pretty shit job of taking care of yourthelf lately. We’ve kept your thorry thkinny ath alive, but you need to actually take care of yourself. He contacted Davethprite. I know ith not the “right Dave” but thith guyth been alone in the voidth for three yearth. We’re trying to get him to come now. Tho pleathe quit being thtupid, get out of your coon and clean yourthelf up. Then go and find Terezi. She needth you.”

“Terezi.”

The name felt fuzzy and foreign in his head, like he wasn’t quite sure who she was anymore. He closed his eyes again, sighing, before looking back towards Sollux.

“That troll you were in love with from before you met the pink monkey gang.” He explained. “Remember her?”

It wasn’t often that Sollux purposefully used a sentence without s’s, and he only really did that to get a point across. Karkat nodded his head, getting up out of the recuperacoon finally. He started wiping down the slime, and Sollux stared at him.

“You’re thkinnier than me,” he commented.

His comment was probably meant to sound sort of passive, just a fly away observation on him. It wasn’t. It was a subtle comment on how bad Karkat had gotten, and he knew that. He glared at him.

“Oh, shut up, your fangs are starting to annoy me,” he hissed in response.

There was nothing to the snap of his voice that he used to have. He just sounded tired out. Sollux patted him on the shoulder that wasn’t near his newest bite, getting up. He sort of nodded his head, gave him a gentle squeeze.

“I’m going to go check on Hal and Equiuth. Then figure out why the hell everyone ith thtarting to care tho much about thethe humanth again.”

He left, and as the door shut, Karkat only sat down in front of the screen again, waking up his husktop. He got the feed to John back up, confused at first when Jade Harley was center screen. He then realized that she was just blocking John from sight. John was asleep again, and Karkat couldn’t blame him. John and Dave slept a lot when they weren’t busy, probably to block out the pain of living, just like he did. He changed for the first time in a long time, probably. He didn’t like the way his clothes hung on him, how he constantly felt like he was drowning in fabric.

He walked out, intent on finding someone for once, but instead, he wandered off. He wasn’t looking at where he was going, and wasn’t surprised to find himself back at The Piano. It was actually John’s, he knew it from watching him before. This piano was painted blue, however, the same color as John’s eyes. Karkat wasn’t going to admit that to anyone. No one else paid any attention to the piano. This was the shrine that was created for John. He and Vriska had shared it for a while, before she moved on from it. Shrines like this, connected to memories of the humans, had popped up all over Skaia 2.0. He stared at it, hearing the song again. Showtime Refrain. It sounded discorded, however, as if it had been reaching across space to find him there. He could see John at it, he could hear him for once. Egbert groaned, his thin hands hesitating. This was not the John that he remembered in person, but this was John. His dreams only dreamt of the John from the game. This was the John that was real.

“WHAT THE FUCK, EGBERT. KEEP PLAYING. IT’S THE ONLY USEFUL THING YOU’VE DONE SINCE LEAVING, SHIT STAIN.”

The notes jarred, it was hard to breathe, Karkat realized. It was too hard to breathe, and he couldn’t do anything about it. He couldn’t even move. John whipped around, almost falling. Karkat didn’t know what to do. He huffed, crossing his arms and looking away. The memories were tormenting him. This John wasn’t real at all. He was just hallucinating him. Then, he heard John get up, and he turned at the last minute. He saw as John _flickered-_ oh god, this John was real, this John was real and Karkat threw himself at him, but it was too late. John was gone.

He fell to his knees in the grass, his sides caving in as he sobbed. He wrapped his arms back around himself, crying in front of the piano. John had been here, if only for a moment. He felt himself smile, somewhere behind the pain of John being so close. The two of them could meet again, and if the two of them could, so could the rest of them. He didn’t get up, not yet at least, because now wasn’t the time. He knew which troll he would have to tell. He would have to confront the girl that had been ripped away from him. He would have to tell the girl who had her heart ripped out in the game.

Terezi Pyrope needed to know the truth as well.

 

 

** Kanaya (1) **

She was now away from Karkat, in her own hive. They had asked her to stay there again, and she couldn’t really blame them. Vriska had come, looked at her and the troll in her arms, swore softly, then disentangled the two of them. If Kanaya wanted to be honest, she would have admitted that her relationship with Karkat had become more of symbiosis. If she wanted to be even more honest with herself, she would acknowledge that she was parasitical. She only bothered to deal with individuals when she needed blood. Needing blood wasn’t even correct, she just wanted blood. She wanted to slip under the haze of being blood-drunk and not deal with anyone else either. Karkat had the right idea. She was only too willing to oblige, but this time, she had gone too far. She sighed, leaning back against the chair she was in, staring at the screen in front of her. In the end, she got up, and went and lay down on her bed.

She had given up the recuperacoon a while ago, catering her own self to the needs of a matesprit who wasn’t even there. She hadn’t slept in one for six years now, ever since the blonde had entered into her life. She just wanted to be with her again. She ran her fingers over the side of the bed that Rose should have been on. It had been too long since she had seen her, since she had held her. She closed her eyes briefly, turning on her glow for the first time in ages, and opened her eyes to the other side of the bed again.

Rose was lying across from her, eyes closed and tears running down from them. It was so strange still, the transparency and lack of color in human tears. They ran over her nose and down her cheek, pooling against the bed. Rose looked so different, but Kanaya didn’t care at all. She loved her, and she needed her.

“Rose This Behavior From You These Past Three Years Has Been Deplorable I Must Inform You That You Have Been Causing Me Great Stress”

“M’sorry, Kan. I just got busy feeling sorry for myself.” Rose said.

Kanaya reached over, about to brush her fingers through her hair when Rose opened up her eyes. She realized then, that somehow, this was not a dream. Rose was here and with her. They stared into each other’s eyes, and suddenly, Rose sat up, looking around. It filled Kanaya with a panic.

“No If You Look Too Much You Will Have To Go Rose And Then I Will Be Left Here Alone Again And You Have Already Been Gone So Long”

“What do you mean? I mean seriously Kanaya it’s just a dream.”

She looked confused, and Kanaya sat up too, reaching out.

“Rose No You Need To Stop-“

She touched her, and as she did, she was interrupted by screeching. Rose flickered out, but she had been there. There was an indent on the bed where she had been. She reached out, tracing the outline of it. A single blonde hair had been left behind, and she picked it up. She felt like sobbing. How could this be there? How could this happen to her?

Rose had been here, Rose had been in her grasp, and now, Rose was gone again. She curled back up, hiding herself away in the blankets. She didn’t want to do this anymore. She was losing her mind over a ghost of a girl. She had almost killed Karkat today trying to escape it. She had tried not to think about that part. She tried not to think about the number of times that he lay dying in her arms because she just wanted to lose herself. Today had been the closest yet. She sniffled, and the small sniffles turned into gross, bubbling sobs. She flung herself out, pounding her fists into the bed and screaming. She lost track of time as she did, wearing herself down to sniffs and hiccups.

A hand touched her back, then ran a hand through her hair. It hesitated, as if almost afraid of her.

“Jeez, Kanaya, you just had to throw aaaaaaaall the tantrums, didn’t you?” Vriska asked, laying down next to her.

“I Do Not Appreciate Your Sarcasm At This Time Vriska I Am Trying To Cope”

“Listen up, Maryam. Are you ready for a pep talk? Because I’m going to give you one. Get the fuck over it. Get the fuck over her, get the fuck over them. You almost killed one of your only friends today because you don’t want to deal with things or cope with things. You’re lying, and I don’t need an eight ball or a cue ball to figure that one out.”

Vriska got up, stomping towards the door.

“At least the others who are so obsessed with them are only killing themselves. Not that you would care. You quit caring about your friends a long time ago. I’m tired of waiting for you to wake up, Maryam.”

With that, Vriska stomped out. Kanaya sat back up, watching the coat whip around out of sight. She then decided to let her go, slipping back into the haze that was Rose Lalonde.


	2. Sorry Hearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vriska and Nepeta have to deal with the facts of life on Skaia 2.0.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content Warning: Fist Fights, More Fights, Fighting Meowrails
> 
> And some Kissing.

** Vriska (1) **

She quickly left Kanaya’s hive, huffing, and did her best to kick anything in her way. She crossed her arms, continuing to march off. Kanaya could be such a jerk at times. She wanted to go talk to someone, to complain to someone, but in the end couldn’t figure out who to talk to. Kanaya was too busy throwing tantrums over the blonde human, Karkat was too busy wasting away over humans, and she and Terezi hadn’t really talked since she had ended up here. She sighed, starting down towards the water. There was someone she could go to, even if she hadn’t talked to him in a very long time.

She glanced up at the sky. It was so weird, feeling the warmth of the sun on her skin, as well as being able to stand in it. Even after over a sweep, she couldn’t get over the feeling of the warmth and the light together. Everything here had been so weird at first, including first waking up. That had been terrifying, dealing with breathing, her heart hammering, and the extreme hunger. She was so weak she had been unable to move. Her body wasn’t coping with being alive again. She hadn’t been the only one. That first week almost killed her. She didn’t have the strength to get up and move, and she needed to depend on others, but the ones that were left weren’t going to help her. They wouldn’t want to save her. She had been sure of that.

She had been proved wrong, of course. Oddly enough, it was Porrim who started taking care of them. She hadn’t really talked to Porrim that much before. Porrim before had been an idea, a means to an end. However, Porrim had somehow gotten herself together to take care of her and the other ones recalled to life. She never thanked her for it. She just kept getting stronger, kept making herself get up and keep fighting. She had to get used to a lot of things again. She had been given the chance to live in her old hive, but she chose another one, a little more secluded and near the beach. This one was so plain compared to her previous hive. She stretched her back, a part of her still missing the weight that used to be there.

It was hard getting used to the idea that her wings were gone, but they were. Everyone who was god tier lost their wings when they woke up here. She kept wearing the thief outfit for a while. It was more comfortable when dealing with the fact that she had her arm back, but she didn’t have her eye back. Her vision eight-fold wasn’t going to return, not even here. The memories of SGRUB were like a dream to her, hard to believe that she was that troll at all. It was hard to believe she had done those things to her friends inside the game. She didn’t pretend to not be a killer- she had embraced the Alternian lifestyle early on and had killed a lot of people. She had attempted murdering Terezi  and Tavros; She even succeeded in killing Aradia on more than one occasion.

Here, however, there was no need to fight. The hemospectrum fell apart pretty quickly when it came down to just the 24 of them here, together on this world. Beforan and Alternian had to somehow coexist. She saw one of them as she walked, and she waved stiffly at him. It was the other Zahhak- Horuss? Horuss. He waved excitedly, but she moved on, and so did he. It wasn’t weird for the two circles of trolls to not really meet and talk. Meenah and Kankri talked the most to the other group. It wasn’t easy, trying to combine their cultures together to create a functioning world. The other group was already starting to push out some grubs with the help of the new Dolorosa, Porrim, but Vriska wasn’t concerned with that yet. She never really wanted grubs anyway. What kind of sorry excuse for a troll would come out of her and some other mate?

She found herself again down by the water, looking out over the ocean to a small island with a familiar ship wreck against it. She looked right, and saw that for once, Cronus seemed to not be at home. The two Amporas had chosen hives close to each other. They probably did better because of it, the two alone beings being alone together. She made her way over the sand to the small boat she used to get out to his hive and climbed in it. She took her stance on the back bench, pushing off with the long paddle. She made her way out of the surf, shirt and pants getting wet, her hair starting to get heavy with water. It wasn’t easy to get to him, but if she had messaged him, he would have just ignored it. This was the only way she could think of, getting in contact with one Eridan Ampora.

To the two of them, they were not the bad guys of the game. They had simply wanted a way to survive the game, and in the end, it had gone horribly awry. However, it was hard to forgive themselves of the crimes that they had committed against their friends. That’s really why she had quit talking to most of the others. She made her way onto the island, pulling the boat ashore. She had to swim back before, and it wasn’t exactly fun. She took off her shoes and socks, setting them on the boat, and started towards his hive.

Her feet felt warm in the sand, her skin felt delicious in the sun, and she pulled her hair back, tying it up quickly as she walked. There was something about being on the beach that just pulled her spirits up from wherever she was, no matter how upset she was over Maryam in the end. She couldn’t help it that Maryam was still the person she was extremely red for. She loved her, and she just had to sit back and watch her destroy herself and Karkat over a human. Stupid, human creatures. She knew what it felt like, but somewhere, she and John were long gone, and it wasn’t her fault he lied and didn’t stick around in the end.

She got onto the deck, noticing how much garbage and debris lay scattered over it. She wrinkled up her nose, heading to the door. She knocked on it, and when she didn’t hear a response, simply barged on in. She had been nice enough to knock, after all. That was about the extent of her kindness this morning when it came to dealing with train wrecks. She got into his living room, her nose wrinkling up in disgust. There was garbage everywhere, and dirty dishes. This place was trashed. She grumbled, and picked her way through the mess. Maybe she should have kept her shoes on, she thought, sidestepping a broadsword, rifle, and broken glass. Apparently, her friend Ampora wasn’t doing so hot himself, and Vriska was reaching the end of her motherly rope. At this rate, she was going to wind up hanging one of her friends on it.

She found him eventually in his respit block. He wasn’t even in his recuperacoon, just slumped in his chair on his desk. His husktop had fallen asleep at some point in time, just like him. He could be dead for all she knew. It had probably been weeks since he made contact with another soul. He looked sorry, in just a gross looking shirt and his boxers. She prodded him with her foot, and he didn’t respond. She felt herself getting angry. He looked like shit. He was pale, and there were bags under his eyes. She did the only thing she could think of. She grabbed the chair, ripping it out from underneath him and spilling him onto the floor. She was screaming, she realizing. It was high and shrill; it was angry.

He jerked awake, fins flopping as he looked up at her, then rubbed his eyes.

“Seriously, Vrisk, you didn’t hawe to do that.” He said, sounding strained.

She kicked him, because she was upset and he was there. She was trying so hard to move on and get better and her friends were just letting themselves fall apart.

_“GET UP GET UP YOU SORRY SACK OF EGGS.”_

She was still yelling, she didn’t want to stop yelling, but he did get up, hesitantly wrapping his arms around her. She didn’t realize that she had been shaking. He stank, and she didn’t care in that moment. She put her head on his shoulder. When did he become taller than her? She felt her chest hitch up, and she swore under her breath because she was about to start crying on Eridan Ampora’s shoulder. She didn’t want to start crying on his shoulder, but her chest and arms sort of hitched again, and he patted her head.

She pulled back before she did start crying, and pointed towards the door. He looked questioningly at her, and she scowled at him.

“You reek, Ampora. You smell just as bad as the rest of your hive. I can’t believe you just wallow here like this. What kind of self-respecting pirate lets himself be like this?”

He scowled back at her, his fist balling up.

“In case you haven’t noticed, Vrisk, no one gives a shit. No one care’s if I sit here. No one comes to visit.”

“Go. Ablution trap, then we’re cleaning your hive. I’m not letting my friend live like some dirty oink beast-“

She heard the crack as he connected with her cheek before she felt it. She growled, launching at him, finally snapping. She punched him back, trying to shove his arms out of the way. He hit her again, and she yanked him by the horn, kicking his shin. He then yanked her by the hair, and she fisted a hand in his shirt. She slammed him into the wall, and he stared down at her.

Suddenly, they were kissing, and she almost bit him. She almost did, but then she kissed him right back. They were kissing, and she finally shoved him off.

“You smell bad and your breath and mouth taste bad,” She informed him, a little breathlessly.

“You like it,” he informed her, trying to return some of his bravado.

It didn’t really work. He wasn’t as intimidating as he used to be, and neither was she. They weren’t the trolls they used to be.

“I will throw you in that tub myself if you don’t go take a bath.”

He grumbled, and shuffled off, his cheeks and ears tinged violet. She huffed, then looked around his block. She simply started picking up, tossing things into the trash can or a pile of clothes. It wasn’t that exciting, but she needed to get out of this hell. She needed to start making things right.

Vriska was going to start saving her friends one at a time.

 

 

** Nepeta (1) **

AC:  :33 <*ac questions to see if her meowrail is home*

AC:  :33 <*purrhaps she and Equius can have tea today*

AC:  :33 <*nepeta wonders what her friend is up to*

AC:  :33 <*nepeta misses her meowrail*

She sighed, shutting her husktop and getting up. It had been a long time since Equius answered. She got up, and brushed her longer hair over her shoulder. By now, it was almost as long as Muelin’s. She went downstairs from her respit block and into the main room. Muelin looked up, and asked where she was going. Nepeta quickly signed back that she was going hunting. Muelin simply nodded her head, leaning back onto Kurloz, who just gave Nepeta a thumbs up.

He was more eerie than Gamzee was. She smiled at him as well, then went out, pulling on her long green jacket as she went. It had been a while since she stopped wearing her blue hat, but she still wore her blue tail out and about. She sighed, then left into the late afternoon sun. She wasn’t really planning on going and seeing Equius. She hadn’t planned on seeing Karkat either, or Sollux, or anyone. She wasn’t even planning on going hunting. What she really wanted to do was just go out and do something. She wanted to get away from them, from everyone. She didn’t want to bother anyone anymore.

She guessed that’s partially why Muelin took her in when they first got there. She had just kind of quit, and slunk off to a cave. There were no shipping grids, there was no Pounce. She was just alone. She hadn’t done well there, but when Muelin took her in and started teaching her to sign, she was starting to get better. She just wished her friends would too. She sighed, then started out of the compound of hives to get to the woods. She didn’t want to notice anyone. She didn’t want to visit anyone today. No one wanted to talk to her after all.

Her plans of avoidance came to a halt when she saw Equius coming out of Sollux’s hive. He wasn’t as muscular as she remembered. He looked overworked and tired. She froze in place, unsure of what to do. He glanced over at her, then kept on walking, then did a double take. The two of them stared at each other, until he finally cleared his throat.

“Nepeta, I’ve been meaning to respond to your messages.”

She could see him start to sweat. He nervously ran a hand through his hair, and all she could do was sigh.

“I’m sure, Equius.”

She didn’t even feel like roleplaying at that moment. She didn’t want to be a kid anymore, or the cute little troll that had been his best friend. He would have to see that she had grown up too since he went away. She didn't even want to use her old typing quirk. She only kept it for him, and he wasn't even going to greet him like they were best friends anymore.

“I’m sorry. I was attempting to rescue one of the trapped humans. We finally retrieved him today. Hal Strider-“

“That’s the one that you were fused with.”

She said it so bluntly, that he looked a little put off. He frowned at her.

“Mew think that you’re the only one who has purroblems from that, don’t you? Well, purrhaps you should have asked someone about it. Purrhaps someone else who went through that.”

His frown deepened to a scowl, and she could see he was getting angry. Good. He could deal with being as angry and hurt as she had felt.

“He was alone, Nepeta. There was no one there for him to talk to. I had to save him.”

“I was alone too.”

She turned on her heels and started walking away. It was so hard to keep the hurt edge out of her voice, because she could feel her heart breaking again. He grabbed onto her shoulder, and she hissed in pain, starting to feel it swell.

“Apologies- I- I couldn’t have you walk away. You were in my care for so long-“

“That you just assume I still need it.”

She shrugged him off. He was hurting her, and not just physically. She didn’t want to talk to him. She didn’t want to be around him. She just kept walking.

“Don’t bother responding to my messages now,” she managed, before starting to run. She got through the forest pretty easily, when movement up ahead stopped her.

“Oh, hey doll.”

She looked over at Rufioh, and he smiled at her. She frowned at him. He was just sitting on a rock, staring into the pool in front of him. The light from it lit him up like starshine. He patted the spot next to him.

“Let me guess. With the others is dragging you down, right?” he asked.

She wiped below her eyes, nodding her head a bit. Stupid Equius. Stupid Karkat. Stupid Terezi. They were all stupid. Tavros was stupid. 

“Efurry- Everyone is just so bent on talking to those humans! It’s pawsitively- positively upsetting.” She sat down on the ground.

He let her, looking back into the pool. He nodded his head, then ran a hand through his mohawk.

“Yeah. I see that. Even Meenah’s been yawping about that one again. Johann? Egbert? Whoever he is. It’s like a disease lately. Over a sweep of not mentioning them, not talking about them, and now, suddenly, everyone’s bent on them again. It’s mad.”

He sighed, tossing a rock into the pool.

“Everyone misses them…but I have to miss efurryone else.” She said.

“That’s one way to look at it. Kinda sucks, I bet.”

“It does.”

The two of them sat there in silence for a while. He finally cleared his throat, looking back down to her.

“Listen, it aint much, but I found a shrine from Beforus. It was my tribe of treehouses. The tribe’s gone, but the treehouses are still there. I mean, if you want to get away from them all for a bit. I can stay out of your hair.”

“Thanks.” She meant it.

It would be really good to get away from them all for a bit. Being around them only reminded her how lonely she really was.

“I’m Rufioh, by the way. Don’t know if I ever properly introduced myself.”

“’m Nepeta.”

He held out a hand, and she took her claws off one hand, lifting it up. She shook it, then saw stars fire off in her vision. She gripped onto her shoulder, curling up.

“You hurt?”

“Equius grabbed my shoulder.”

“Oh. I know how that feels.”

“Mew do?”

“Hon, I dated Horuss Zahhak. Trust me, I know.”

She giggled, and he got up, offering her a hand. His wings spread out wide behind him, and she stared in wonder. He fluttered them, and she blushed a bit.

“I thought all the god tiers lost their wings.”

“I never god tiered. These are all me.”

She took his hand, and he helped her up. She felt silly, then he nodded his head and started walking.

“Don’t tell anyone I’ve got this out here,” he said, looking nervous. “You know how rare these shrines are from our own worlds.”

He took her hand to lead her through the thicker brush, until she was standing in the middle of a set of treehouses. They stretched out, and she smiled at them. He pointed towards one.

“That’s mine. Take whatever one you want, Nepeta.”

“Thank mew, Rufioh!”

“Stay as long as you want. That’s what the lost tribe’s for.” He told her. “It’s a place for you to call hive for as long as you need it to be.  Now, I’m going to go out and hunt some beast for dinner tonight.”

“I can help, if mew want.”

“Sure, if that’s what you want to do.”

She grinned, and laughed.

“I think not being alone together sounds purrfect.”


	3. The Ghosts of You

** Gamzee (1) **

 

The whispers were starting again. He could hear them. Him. Himself. The whispers were his own whispers, and they were trying to start an argument again. He was always trying to start an argument with himself.

“Mother fuckers and sweet miracles. The messiah of mirth.”

_“Both in one combined.”_

It drummed out a boring rapport into his brain. It stained his hands with blood. The voice coming to him wasn’t his own. The voice was something more sinister, or it used to be. It was an echo now of a command. A command he could choose to ignore. It was a ghost, if he let it be one. The voice was his, the voice wasn’t his at all. Those voices weren’t his own.

_“Those mother fuckers need to pay. They aint respecting your blood color. Aint respecting the hemospectrum.”_

Hemospectrum. The word rattled around in his think pan, digging into his bones. It was etched behind his eyes, had him singing sparks of indigo. The lure of the carnival was there. It was all he could do to stay under. He could go back to the carnival. He could kill them all and become the Messiah of Mirth once more. It was like claws were digging into his head, and he couldn’t ignore them. There was only pain and grim dissatisfaction. The world was chewing him up and spitting him out. He couldn’t take it. He needed to get them out.

“Gamzee, uh,, please, wake up,”

That voice.

It dripped caramel down, and it stirred inside of his blood pump and his think pan. It was so calming and soothing to him. It quieted the violent lightshow of indigo inside of him. It smothered the voice that whispered at him to kill. It smothered it in warmth and love and craving.

“G-Gamzee,” the voice murmured.

The hands slid over him, rubbing at his sides. The body pressed against him, kissing his shoulders. He was drowning in warm caramel, and that was what he truly loved at that moment. He didn’t want to wake up, he didn’t want to sleep anymore. Gamzee was split in two, and had been for a very long time. This must be how Captor felt so often, he mused. That mustard blood must have suffered through all sorts of shit in his duality. He opened his eyes, the blurred outline of the troll over him made him relax and tense.

“Your,, hair is all tangled again, Gamzee.”

“mmm. Sorry Bro.”

Tavros Nitram. He cut through the bullshit and the noise in his head. He made it so Gamzee could think in singularity. Gamzee was pretty sure Tavros resented him sometimes. Sleep was never easy for the indigo, like most other indigos. He noticed Tavros was rubbing his side. Tavros probably resented him most of the time.

“Shit. Did I up and hit you, bro?”

Gamzee sat up, and Tavros shrugged in response, smiling. He leaned in a bit, and Tavros smiled.

“It’s, um, nothing really. You didn’t mean to, I promise.”

“Was I sleeping or awake?” Gamzee asked in all seriousness.

“Asleep.” Tavros said. “It’s always been asleep lately, Gamzee. You haven’t hurt anyone.”

Awake, he hadn’t hurt anyone awake. Gamzee made the correction himself. He knew that it was implied. Asleep, he was just as dangerous. He got out of the slime, and Tavros followed him, slipping into his wheelchair. Gamzee leaned down, kissing his head.

“Sorry, mother fucker,” he murmured.

“It’s okay, I promise.” Tavros told him. “You didn’t mean to hurt me.”

“I didn’t want to hurt anyone,” Gamzee said.

The two of them sounded tired and exhausted. Tavros pulled Gamzee down onto his lap, rubbing his side. He knew that Gamzee regretted a lot of shit, not that he actually saw any of it. He knew that Gamzee had been a victim of a lot of things in the game. However, he hadn’t been able to witness any of it.

“I know,, Gamzee.”

He sighed, and Tavros kissed his shoulder. He smiled at him, then kissed him. The two of them were somehow okay. Gamzee had been left alone, after Aranea admitted to mind controlling him. However, the duplicity of being himself had finally stuck in a way he didn’t want it to. There were things that were inherently genetic, and the Carnival and blood lust were in that spectrum. Tavros knew too. It was always important for him to know, and after the game, that was the first thing Gamzee admitted. He was a high blood. He was going to forever be susceptible to what the carnival would make him want to do. Tavros knew the risk. He knew that at any moment, Gamzee could change, and somehow, he had stayed. 

It basically was a setup that doomed Gamzee to fall apart from the start. The more he wanted to hold onto sanity, the worse it seemed to get. The more he wanted to save himself or Tavros, the worse the nightmares got. _Both in one combined._ He didn’t know what started the whispering, or why, just that any regime of self-medicating on sopor slime was never going to work. He knew this, he knew it in the early days when he would do anything to silence the cursed noise in his head. He knew it came in the form of sopor induced comas. Gorging himself on sopor to the point of being sick, there was no going back to the way he was before the game. That point, for some reason, was not allowed on Skaia 2.0.

“I, uh, want to stay, Gamzee, but I need to check,, on the Strider,,”

“Strider?”

The name itself drug something up from the pits of his memory. The name Strider was important. It meant something dark and sinister in himself.

“yeah, uh, Davesprite, he got here yesterday,,”

Davesprite. The name meant even less to him, but this Davesprite Strider was a memory. He had something to do with this. There was something important and he couldn’t connect the dots anymore. He slid off of Tavros’s lap, and shrugged his shoulders.

“You up and go then. I’ll just stay here.”

“Gamzee, you can go out you know,”

“Yeah, yeah. I know. No one bears any ill will towards the clown or some shit. You don’t have to give me the speech.”

He tossed himself onto the couch, long legs getting tangled up in the table again.

“alright, I’ll be back later,”

“Alright.”

He laid down and turned his head into the couch, longer horns stabbing into the arm of it, causing him to swear. Of course he was still growing. He wouldn’t stop, not until he was just like that fucking high blood trash. He wouldn’t stop till he resembled his ancestor. He swore, slamming his fist into the couch, not even surprised when his spiked club hit into it. He tore it out, listening to its pitiful rips. Slam. Rip. Slam. Rip. Slam. Rip.

He wasn’t sure how long he kept it up, but he wasn’t surprised to find himself sitting in a pile of upholstery and wood, the couch not even recognizable. He was sitting in the wreckage, stained purple. There were rips up his arms and his hands were bloody. He stretched his fingers, swearing at the pain. The door softly opened, and then swung shut. The click sounded so loud to him that Gamzee flinched, clubs clattering to the ground.

Tavros walked in, in that slow shuffle-step of pain that let Gamzee know he had been on his feet to long.  It was a rapport of pain that Gamzee tuned his life too.

“Gamzee,,,”

It wasn’t a statement, or a question. It was just as long and drawn as Gamzee always felt lately. Like he was losing himself and his matesprit could only go so far to save him. He couldn’t follow him, wherever this ended up. He had shut himself away to make sure everyone else was safe. He had decided to leave, Tavros had followed him.

Tavros knelt in front of him, putting his hands on Gamzee’s shoulders.

“I’ll follow you, Gamzee, I promised,,” He whispered.

He wrapped his arms around Gamzee’s skinny shoulders, waiting for the two of them to be swallowed by the threatening dark.   


 

 

TAVROS (1)

It didn’t really surprise him to see Gamzee laid out on the floor surrounded by another piece of destroyed furniture. He was used to it by now, even if he didn’t really want to be. He knew that it was pointless to try stopping the behavior, or try to fix it. Gamzee’s mind was broken, probably more than he was willing to admit. It’s not like Tavros wanted him to be that way. It was reminiscent of Mituna and Latula in some ways, but in other ways, it was completely different. This was the part that was different. Gamzee’s crippling regret.

It shouldn’t have been this bad, but it was. Kurloz had explained that it was. That it sort of just manifested, and that Tavros may not be able to save him whole. He sort of understood it, what with Kurloz choosing to redo the stitches on his mouth, even though he didn’t have to. It made him feel safe, and it made him feel safe for others to interact with again. Gamzee didn’t have that anchor anymore, and Tavros didn’t know how to fill it or fix it.

It was obvious when he had come home one night to Gamzee frantically stuffing sopor down his throat, only to puke it all up later. It was apparent in the way that he was willing to try anything to stay calm, but nothing was there anymore. Tavros wasn’t even the same. The pain from walking again made it almost impossible to keep up or keep him safe. Most days, he had to use the wheelchair, some days, he had to stay in his wheelchair.

“Come on, let’s get you cleaned up,” Tavros said, kissing his forehead.

“I can do it myself.”

“I know, Gamzee, I want to help you,,” he insisted.

Gamzee shuffled to his feet, then looked down at Tavros. What would he do now? Tavros had bruises on him already from the nights when Gamzee wasn’t in control. It was always when he was asleep. Gamzee never actually hurt him, and Tavros understood that. Gamzee was safe, the dreams were the danger. He was never evil to him, he never purposefully hurt him. Tavros knew that the voices in the dreams hurt the both of them. He waited for Gamzee to make the move, but was surprised when Gamzee simply picked him up with a soft grunt.

“um,, you don’t,”

“Don’t even act like you aint up and hurting, Tavbro. You’re in pain and shit and it’s not good for you to push this. You’re lucky you got working legs, but aint lucky enough to not be in pain. You’re gonna rest.”

Tavros clung to him, playing the dance between shoulders and horns and head and neck. He and Gamzee’s horns didn’t really fit, his didn’t really fit with anyone. They had only gotten wider in the past sweep or so, and it wasn’t exactly nice to feel that. He let Gamzee carry him, however, till he was on the edge of the recuperacoon. Gamzee helped him get his shirt off over those stupid horns of his. Those horns were a legitimate pain in his backside when it came to getting dressed and undressed. He shivered a bit, then Gamzee wrapped his arms around him, kissing his cheeks and temples. He melted into those, feeling Gamzee finally let go.

“Gonna clean up, then I’ll come massage those legs and shit.”

“Alright.”

This was his Gamzee. This was the one he knew would take care of him, no matter what. This Gamzee, his Gamzee, would never hurt him. Gamzee smiled, and then left the room. Tavros kicked off his pants before sliding into the recuperacoon, relaxing back. He could hear Gamzee moving around in their bathroom, and he sat back up when he came in, shirtless, his hands washed off but unbound like usual. He said the sopor helped heal him up, helped make him better. Tavros believed him. It was easier on his legs in the recuperacoon, especially after the meteor. He slid off his pants and slid into the recuperacoon as well, sliding behind Tavros.

Tavros settled against him, the storm of uncertainty quieting in his head for now. They would be fine, he told himself stubbornly. The two of them would get through this just fine.


	4. Strained Notes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sollux complains a lot.  
> Later, Porrim tries to question Aradia about her and Sollux's...extracurricular activities and explain the birds and the ...buckets?

Sollux (1)

Sollux Captor peeled himself away from his machines, rubbing his tired eyes. Warm hands encircled him, pulling him up.

“It’s time to take a break,” said that smooth voice, cutting in through the other voices in his head. He hated the noise, hated the chatter, and he instantly relaxed from the reprieve that it gave him.

He looked up at her, grinning, hands going up to touch her spiraled horns. She kissed the top of his head, chin between horns.

“So what are you up to, AA?” Sollux asked, relaxing back into her grip.

“I’m going to grub sit tonight. There’s a few of the others who need a break, and I’ve only been watching you and making sure you’re fed,” she said brightly.

He frowned at her, then sighed.

“You promised you wouldn’t mention it, Megido,” he said sourly.

She laughed, sitting down in his lap. He wrapped his arms around her curvy body, holding her close. She kissed him, tilting their heads, and kept kissing them until he was sure his air sacks would quit and break down. She pulled away finally, leaving him breathless.

“Do you want grubs of your own?” he asked, looking at her curiously.

She let out a little hum, then shrugged. He watched the way her hair caught on her shoulder, spilling curls as they relaxed back. He could get lost in watching the little parts of her body move.

“Someday, maybe. I don’t mind, Porrim can’t take care of _all_ of the babies herself. I’m just helping her so she gets a bit of time with Kankri, and checking up on Kar-“

She stopped there, clearing her throat. Since here, the two of them had quit talking about the others, at least from their own session. She didn’t mind retreating into a world of the two of them together. The voices had been silent for both of them since being here, until Hal and Davesprite were around. Now, they were like whispers to the both of them. She turned her head, humming a bit. Was that a new voice?

“Aradia?” Sollux asked.

“It’s nothing.” She said dreamily.

She got off his lap, his hands unwilling to let her go, but she went to the window and looked out.

“Besides,” she added. “You aren’t fat, you just aren’t angles and bones anymore. Those are muscles you’re feeling,” she told him.

He rolled his eyes, watching her as she went, not sure what to say next. He turned back to his computer, but she made a chittering sound at him.

“I’m fine, A. Plus, these are not muscles, this is slowly developing fat,” he said sourly.  

“You’re going to lose your eyes at this rate. We can’t exactly get you glasses here and you mistook a lamp for me the other night,” she said, giggling.

It’s true, his eyes were getting worse, but he wanted to get the humans reconnected to them. He didn’t like the humans, he never had, but the simple fact was that he just wanted the voices too stop. He could hear the ones clinging to the humans constantly, and he got sick of hearing Karkat, Kanaya, and Equius all the time. They weren’t alive at all.

“I’ll be fine, Megido.”

“Sollux Captor. Get out tonight, go visit Eridan or Feferi, get in a fight with them. Just leave for a bit, it’ll be good for you,” she told him. “I’d rather you develop a kismesis than whatever it is you’re doing.”

She kissed him on the head before leaving, the front door of the hive swinging shut with a click behind her. He stared at the door, then stood up, stretching. She was right, he just didn’t know where to go. He didn’t want to talk to Karkat, or Feferi really. Hey, ex-matesprit. Remember that time I almost died after holding your corpse? No? Probably not, you were fucking dead. He opened the door, heading out. He just needed to get out for a bit.

“Hey, lil Captor.”

He turned, seeing the even taller version of Meenah. He shuffled a bit, frowning.

“The hell do you want, Peixes.”

“Easy, beach.  Just thought I’d say hi. Since yanno, we never actually talk to any of you. Ever. How’s shit going?” she asked, walking up to him.

“It’s fine.”

“You look tired. Megido keep you up all night?” she asked, waggling her eyebrows.

“Can you not talk to me? You look too much like her.”

“Shore-ry. I can go if you want. Just thought you might want another frond around.”

“Jegus, you know how fucking stupid this is?! I just want to be fucking _left alone for once._ ” He sighed, rubbing his eyes, the old familiar crackles of psionic energy running between his horns.

 He was getting a migraine, and he just wanted to get the fuck out of there. He wanted to be alone, he wanted his fucking friends back from the brink of death because most of them were apparently dying whether they knew it or not. He was just fucking done. A hand touched his shoulder, and he shrugged it off.

“I want to just stay with Aradia in our world away from the memories and the voices of these stupid fucking humans.”

He was bitter, he would admit one thousand times over that he was bitter and hated it and hated them. He was right, coming outside was a bad idea and he wanted to slink back home, to forget about this, about them, about everyone.

She firmly took his shoulders, sitting him down on a nearby rock.

“You should just give up on them then. You should forget about your fronds, and the fact that they chose not to live.” She said, her tone firm.  

He blinked at her, his eyebrows knitting together in disdain. He sighed, rubbing his forehead.

 “I can’t do that because I still care about those assholes, I’d rather work myself to death then bother with that. I don’t want to lose any of them, not anymore, not after all we’ve fucking been through,” he told her.

“Then there’s your answer, shelly.” She told him, kissing his forehead. “You gotta do what you gotta do to save your fronds, just don’t kill yourself doing it. It aint been that long to some of us- you got all the time left in Skaia itself to help them through this,” she told him, grinning.

“You know, you’re a lot more agreeable now that you aren’t being a huge beach,” he told her.

“Whale yeah, trolls change and shit like that,” she added. “I’ll sea you around, lil’ Captor.”

“It’s Sollux.”

“It could be the Empress herself and I wouldn’t give a shit,” she added, laughing, waving over her shoulder as she walked off.

Life was weird in Skaia 2.0, he decided, smiling.

 

 

Porrim (1)

“Oh, Aradia, thank God,” she said, smiling at her. “I’m really glad to see you- no, I really am, you don’t understand-“

Aradia smiled, waving her hand. Clearly, Porrim had been reaching her wits end for the time cycle. Porrim smiled wider, if that was even possible, and handed over one of the grubs- a light shade of blue, who seemed to be content in Aradia’s arms, and curled up instantly, horn nubs barely poking out from the sphere. She let out a sigh, kissing Aradia’s cheek.

“Alright-yes, you have my trollian handle just in case, right? You’ll let me know if anyone’s been misbehaving? Also, speaking of Bee’s, Behora has started sparking. She’s realized that she is a psionic, so you may get shocked a bit,” she added quickly. “Um, in addition, Karmen has also been acting up- nightmares, you know- common in his blood color-“

“Porrim, shh, you are clearly overworked, underpaid, and need a break from wriggler watch,” Aradia said, getting in the middle of the pile, where the wrigglers started crawling to her.

Porrim winced as Behora shocked Aradia, but Aradia didn’t even flinch.

“How?” Porrim asked.

She herself was sporting a line of stings up her wrist.

Aradia sniggered. “Right, you forget. I’m with Sollux, so I’m used to a bit of psionic bursts. Let’s just state that he doesn’t always have complete control over it, especially when his blood pusher is accelerated,” she said, winking at her.

Porrim cleared her throat, sitting down across from her.

“I should go- Kankri will be waiting, he will, but…how long have you two been..?” Porrim asked.

She had to be careful, the younger set were getting to the age now where they had to be careful. Otherwise, Aradia might find herself with a grub of her own.

“Oh. Probably a lunar cycle now, he moved very slow through this,” Aradia told her.

“Right. You know that- well, now that the older group found out that… ‘pailing’ as your side so eloquently puts it, well you know-“

“I’m aware that that is how grubs work. Sollux and I are talking about, and well, I wouldn’t mind, and I’m thinking that in the end it’s a good thing for him too. We aren’t really planning to have one now, nor do I think that I will anytime soon,” Aradia said, picking up a mint colored wriggler, kissing its nose.

 She had 5 near her at this time, all of the ones that were currently born. There were an additional three in the eggs still, waiting to hatch. She smiled at Porrim, and Porrim smiled back, she had to. It seemed that Aradia had thought this all out.

“You’re going to be late for your date,” Aradia said, and Porrim nodded, standing up.

It had been sweeps it felt like since she had put on makeup, put in her piercings, or shown off her tattoos. She didn’t bother with piercings because that hurt when a wriggler attached themselves to one of them. She went upstairs, looking at the mirror. She looked thinner, more worn at the edges, and she realized that she looked like the woman from Vriska’s book. She was starting to look like the Dolorosa. She pulled back her long hair, trying to imagine it that short and laughed. There were some things that she was not quite willing to part with, and it seemed that her hair was one of them. She yawned, then started brushing her hair.

She was happy that her and Kankri had entered a pseudo-matespritship and moraillegience, if only for her health, because he had admitted that she was looking rougher around the edges than even he was happy with. She had taken the criticism well, so she was off to his hive for what hopefully wasn’t a long lecture and dinner with him. She sighed, applying some eyeliner and black lipstick, her old habits not completely dying out. She sighed, then looked at herself, before grabbing her old dress. She hadn’t worn it a lot lately- wriggler watch was not meant for this fabric. She slid it on over her head, looking at it in the mirror. It didn’t hang on her the same way that it had before, and she realized that her hips had shrunk down as well as her rumble spheres. She ignored this, and started putting in her piercings again, making sure that she put them all in. She didn’t want it to appear that she tamed down completely. He needed something to argue about, after all. She went back down, looking at Aradia, who was currently teaching the wrigglers how to blow bubbles. She smiled a bit, slipping out, starting to walk. She looked at the path, where Kankri was. He had started getting tougher looking, his usually passive role becoming invalid as he helped pitch in around here. His shoulders were broader, he had a bit of hair growing into his face now, she realized. He had been letting his sideburns grow out. She smiled at him, and he smiled back.

At least he was wearing the same pants and sweater as always. He straightened up, offering his arm to her.

“I thought it might be proper to walk you to my hive. It was a bit of a challenge, due to the fact that you don’t like to be treated like a lady publicly, preferring the same treatment equally no matter what a troll chooses to appear as, but I deemed this might be appropriate as it is a date,” he said, blushing lightly. “So forgive me if I have in any way triggered you. That was not my intention,” he told her.

“It’s fine- I’ll make an exception this once,” she told him, looping her arm through his. “I’m glad you asked me to this. I really haven’t been watching myself as well as I should be.”

“It’s becoming a common problem across Skaia, plus, we already have to start looking into overpopulation issues,” he added. “What are we up to in grubs?” he asked.

“Not enough for you to worry about. Remember, this is round 1, so we need to create a lot to create variety in the pool later. We don’t want to have a limited selection for them,” she told him. “The more the better for now, and if you keep worrying about how to provide, I’m going to have to name you the first official lusus of our generation.”

“Actually…the Nitrams got a lusus to hatch,” he told her. ‘It was unexpected, honestly, I’d given up hope on that front, but soon, you don’t have to worry about that. They’re going to have proper heritage parents.”

She shook her head. “It’s okay if they’re partial caretakers…but I don’t want that. I want to keep watching them. You’ll have to stop by sometime so you can see for yourself.” She told him.

He stopped, looking down at her, and she felt her cheeks flush jade.

“Well, it seems you’ve really changed this past sweep,” he said, biting his lower lip. “I think it’s for the better too, Porrim. This whole thing suits you.”

It occurred to Porrim that now would be the perfect time for a first kiss, but she just smiled. This wasn’t going to happen. This was Kankri, so she knew to wait.

“Thanks  Kanny,” she said, as they walked on.

“Anytime, Maryam.”

“Yeah.”

“Sorry for calling you a two wheeled village device,” he added.

She laughed loudly as they kept going, only stating “You really know how to get to a trolls heart, huh?”


	5. Visions and Proof

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat honestly thinks he's losing his think pan. There's nothing that can save him, he's sure of it.

**Karkat (2)**

He swallows, gripping at the blades of grass and an old blanket. He’s staring, intense, and he swallows painfully again. He sinks into it, delicately tracing the outline of where she had been. He looks up at the sun for a moment. He keens, a simple prayer to bring them back. He needed to bring them all back. He looks down at the grass again.

“Karkat?”

He doesn’t look up, trying to sort out the voice.

“They were here. They were here. Rose was here, John was here too, I keep coming back by the piano. What the fuck is fucking wrong with me? This is complete bullshit and those nook whiffers are destroying me. This shit is so insane that Rose would be eating it up if she was sober enough to analyze me. Hell, with your auspiticising fetish you’d be all over this to if you were on your game, Maryam, but as your friend leader, it’s a fucking joke. You or me being on your game. Either of us being good enough to lead.”

The voice behind him giggles.

“Shore-y. I’m not Kanaya! It’s adorabubble that you think so, but sea, it’s me-“

“Peixes, hi, sorry.” He wipes his face as he struggles up to his feet.

“Hi. You seem reel-y off, Karkat!”

She helps him, and he looks into her eyes. She’s grown out her hair, gotten taller. She also is maturing faster. Her eyes are a deep fuchsia now.

“Right, sorry. Feeling sorry for myself again.”

She hums as she gently touches his neck.

“These are getting worse. If you’re so intent on shipping in those humans, what will they say?” she asked.

He looks at her, and sighs.

“That I shouldn’t be in this deep.” He responded glumly.

“WHALE, I don’t think that. At all. From what Sollux says, you guys are pretty much being guppies. All of you.”

He sighs as he looks at her.

“Yeah, so those idiots are also self-destructing all over the damn place. They can’t help it, I don’t blame them. We’re in this pile of shit alive again together, and they’re there, and they’re so much younger. Times stopped here, really. I don’t think it’s passing at all. It’s like-“

“We’re an egg, ready to hatch,” Feferi said. “Just waiting for the moment it’s time, right?”

“So you can speak without fish puns. Good to know.”

“You can speak without shouting yourself hoarse,” she responds back.

“Too tired to shout,” Karkat admitted.

“Where’d you get that old blanket? I haven’t sea-n it beshore, and it doesn’t look like somefin you’ve ever had.”

He looks down at it.

“So- I’m pretty sure I’m losing my think pan and can’t stop it- but the humans keep appearing to me. Like, here, in this field. I actually touched Rose’s shoulder-“

Feferi made a small noise as she squeezed his shoulder gently.

“I’m shore-y. Maybe it’s part of all that blood that’s been drained?” she asked. “You’ve been letting her drink a lot, Karkat! It can’t be that good for you-“

“I know, I know, that piece of shit hacker has been letting me know it too. I don’t get why he’s so slow at coding, or why he’s even still working on it-“

“Because he cares about you,” she said plainly.

He blinks and looks up at her. He shakes his head a little, feeling his ears flop a little.

“It’s true, karkat, even if you don’t want to believe it, it’s true.”

He sighs as he runs a hand through his hair. He really needed a shower. His hair was getting shaggy and unkempt.

“I can’t put you back together,” Feferi continued, “But I can at least help to clean you up a little. I didn’t get us through this game, and I’m supposed to be the leader. You got us through here, Karkat. You got us to this place. It can be enough.”

He looked up, trying hard not to be too emotional, but soon his eyes were brimming with tears and they started leaking. She rubbed her thumbs over them, kissing at his cheeks. He clung weakly to her shirt, and she ran a hand over his back.

“Shh. Shh. We’ve got you, we’ve all got you.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. It was my job to bring us all here, and they went through the door, and then when we went through the door, it didn’t bring us together. We ended up separately. I’m so sorry.”

His shoulders are shaking, and she kisses his forehead and drags a finger through his hair.

“We’ve all got burdens we’ve got to bear.”

He sniffles and she keeps him close.

“Tho thith ith where you’ve been thulking thith whole time,” he heard a voice say.

“Sollux.”

He felt Feferi’s voice hitch. It was hard not to, really. He looked up at Sollux.

“You don’t look like shit for once,” he commented.

“Well, you do, tho one of uth had to change,” he shot back with a smirk.

Karkat let out a little growl and stepped away from Feferi. Sollux put up his hands in surrender and motioned to the blanket.

“Tho. I thee that your inthanity hath thtarted manifethting into real world halluthinationth.” Sollux commented. “Becauth, if memory therveth, that belongth to Rothe Lalonde.”

Karkat nods. “It. It does. She- she was here? I think. She was here, in the grass. She fell asleep and suddenly she was here and I was here. I touched her shoulder, she was gone, and all of a sudden this is still here. This can’t be still here. I’m going insane and-

“Karkat!” Feferi gasped

“Shush, I’m trying to explain my growing insanity and how its physically manifesting now-“

“Karkat. The Pink monkey gang arrived,” Sollux said as he looked down at the grass behind him.

Karkat whipped around, looking at the two of them lying side by side. Something inside of him shattered. His two favorites were there. They were lying with each other, under a set of blankets. He let out a whimper, and Sollux clamped his hands over his mouth.

“That, that can’t be real, right?” Feferi asked, whispering.

“Theemth to be.” Sollux says.

“What the hell are you lot doing over- holy shit-“

The three of them turned to see Vriska. She looked at John, pain and disgust over her face. She had a rather terrible looking Eridan next to her as well, staring at the pair in the grass.

Sollux released his hands from Karkat’s mouth.

“Yeah, yeah, it’s them- Egbert and Strider, in the flesh, can you not believe it? My hallucinations and psychotic breakdown have created their own goddamn carnival and its right here for all of us to enjoy the show. Fuck, let’s invite Gamzee and Aranea and then maybe he can have another psychotic breakdown too-“

Karkat stopped ranting, feeling dizzy. He sank to his knees.

“Karkat…”

Was that Vriska? He didn’t know. He was weak and sick. He wanted to be with them. He struggled over, and a pair of strong hands hooked him around his middle. They carried them like some sort of grub over to the pair. He laid out in front of Strider. He reached out, claws lightly dragging along his cheek. He felt a sob escape his chest. It was pitiful and hardly heard at all. He reached out, brushing over the blonde hair. He spent time, weakly tracing the dents on Dave’s nose. He let out another set of whimpers. He saw Vriska nearby. She kneeled behind John and tucked him in. It seemed fond, unearthly. It seemed like it wasn’t all that real, to be honest. This couldn’t be happening. He had to be dreaming, because honestly, Vriska wasn’t motherly. He watched as she brushed the hair off his face.

“Real,” was all that she commented. “They’re definitely real. Solid. What the actual fuck?”

Karkat took a moment to breathe. His vision swum black in front of his eyes. He slid out into a blackness soon after that.

**Meenah (1)**

She snorts with laughter at the trolls standing before her. The Alternians were at it again. She waved her hand in the air.

“Prove to me that one of those humans was physically here. Bring me some proof, and I’ll believe you. It’s so shell-y, no, it’s so STUPID.”

She clanks her trident down as she looks at them. Porrim sighs.

“I’m inclined to believe them. I really don’t think that our darlings have any reason to lie about it, honestly.”

Meenah huffed in her direction. “I’m a-boat done with this ship. Here’s the deal- if there’s nothing to this, if we can’t prove that we’re still all connected, then it’s done. Over. No more human business. We’re trying to rebuild this society, and you’re barging ahead into the past. What’s sailed has sailed, tides changing, blah blah blah.”

She stands up from her chair and walks down to them.

“Where’s Karkat? Thought I’d hear this from him. He dubbed himself in charge of this whole operation rescue his matesprit thing.”

Vriska shifted.

“Look, Karkat himself thinks he’s lost his think pan, but I was there. I touched them. They were real. I felt the warmth from John’s skin again. It’s been sweeps since then.”

Meenah laughed.

“Right, right. One shred of proof-“

“What, the flying orange bird boy isn’t enough?” Aradia asked.

“He’s from inside the game-“

“Hal as well-“

“Also recovered from the game.”

“This,” Vriska said proudly as she held out the blanket Karkat had been clutching too. “Sollux is the one who confirmed it belonged to Rose Lalonde. She knit it herself, after the game was over.”

“We have knitters. And yarn. No proof.”

“You’re being obstinate, babe,”

“I’m not your babe, Cronus, you big jerk. I’m tired of this. Us Beforans are doing the work and you’re all just-“

“Dealing with it. You agreed they’ll get time. We had it nowhere near as bad as they did. We became ghosts together. They were put in a cruel game with no hope,” Porrim reminded her. “I believe you. How is Davesprite?” She asked.

“Healing, slowly. His time in the void did his sprite form no good. He’s getting stronger however, proving one thing that we needed to know,” Aradia said.

“What’s that?” Meenah asked.

“the Humanth can thurvive here.” Sollux interjected.

Meenah rolled her eyes. She stood up to her full height.

“From here on, no one will bring up the humans. No one will speak of them. Our worlds are separated. The dog lied to us, ya hear? If they wanted to be here, they woulda been here with us from the start. This is insane how much you just hold onto them. I can’t believe that I’m surrounded by it. Anyone who is heard talking about them is gonna be in for it.”

“Sea you’re living up to your reputation,” Feferi said, flipping her long hair over her shoulder in defiance. “You have no right, you aren’t our leader-“

“I’m their leader-“

“Hardly,” Porrim said. “You’re more of a peacekeeper.”

“Someone had to lock her up,” Meenah hissed.

“Yes, yes they did, and you saw fit to do that without consulting us. How many more trolls do we need to jail before you are satisfied?” Porrim asked.

“I wanted to jail him too, but you won’t get your grubby paws off him.”

“Grubby?” Porrim raised an eyebrow. “We already know that Mituna can’t answer for himself, and if you want to go to war with Latula, be my guest,” she told her. “When you spill blood, you’ll find yourself in the same situation.”

Meenah growled.

“I’ll start spilling blood if you bring up those idiots again. The first one to mention a human is going to regret it. I can control him-“

“You wouldn’t dare,” Vriska said. “Gamzee’s hurt no one-“

“He’s not the only high blood around here-“ Meenah said.

“Keep your hemospectrum to yourself,” Cronus said. “I’m not serving you,” he added.

“My hero,” Porrim said.

“Shut it. I’m not doing this for you either. Got one of these for myself,” Cronus said, tapping at his head.

Meenah huffed.

“Everyone out of my hive, already. I’ve got important work to do,” she said.

She watched as the sidled out, and eventually Cronus did too. He patted her on the head before heading out. She eventually went to the window then sighed. The humans weren’t the only ones who broke promises, but in all honesty, the effects left behind by them were probably worse. There were other promises broken. Honestly, Karkat should have still been leading this sorry affair. She liked to believe that she had some sort of authority, but even then, the more she tried to lead, the more Feferi really did. She sighed.

“I got left behind too,”

_Not by everyone._

She winced, trying to ignore it.

“Nah, Serket, you just used me. A lot.”

_Give in, give in. I can use you again baby, I love you._

“I know better now, I’m made of stronger stuff now.”

She slipped outside to the start of moonlight. This is when she was happiest. This was when she was happy and free. She let out a little hum. This would be okay. Away from where she could hear her voice constantly.

“You okay, doll?”

She looked up at Rufioh, and then at the small troll next to him.

“Nitram. Leijon. Long time no sea.”

She looked at the smaller troll. The two of them were laden with beast meat.

“We were about to go see Porrim, give her and Kanny some. Want any?” he asked.

She nodded her head as she smiled.

“That’d be amazing, thanks.”

He took one of the packages out and handed it over.

“You’re favorite from what I remember, right?” he asked.

“Rufioh you don’t eat beast. Why are you hunting?”

“Porrim and the grubs do. I kind of need to make sure they’re healthy.”

“Efurryone is starting to help again.” Nepeta said.

Meenah smiled a bit.

“thanks. I guess.”

Rufioh flashed her a grin and winked at her.

“Welcome, I guess.”

Meenah clutched the small package as she watched the two of them walk off. She sat down, looking up at the sky. Here, her head was clear, she was calm. There wasn’t much to worry about, and that honestly felt pretty good. She yawned, and smiled. If more days and nights could be like that meeting just then, maybe they can pull through after all. They just needed to leave the humans behind.


End file.
